Toward the end of last year when I purchased two Bossed Up Life Trackers, I imagined Nateanite and me sitting side-by-side every week, talking about what we had done to achieve our goals and what we could do to support each other moving forward. I also thought that this joint experience would give me great fodder for today’s post about following through on your relationship goals. Sadly, it didn’t pan out exactly how I was hoping. A slightly higher-than-normal level of insanity in the Hanson household kept anything but the shortest-term of goals completely out of reach.
Thankfully, we have engaged in other types of goal setting as a couple. I’ve also had the opportunity to observe my parents set and reset goals as priorities shift in relation to what is happening in the short term. I wish I had more on what following-through on a professional relationship looked like, but I do not. If you have had that experience, shoot me a line! I’d love to host you here.
In mid-2010, Nateanite and I decided we were going to start looking for an apartment together. My lease was coming up and I was living in a pretty unsafe part of St. Paul. I had also had to kick my roommate out halfway through our lease or face being evicted myself, so finding a co-habitating situation was critically important to my own financial success. Nateanite was tired of living with his parents. We liked each other a whole lot and were ready to make this step in our relationship.
Just one thing – I was raised in a pretty traditional family and part of that tradition includes not living with anyone before you marry them. I was aware of and nervous, about breaking the news to my parents. That all is a post for, to be honest, likely never. But those traditions run deep in me and my vision for my life very much included me being married. No shade for anyone who chose this path, but I did not want my path to include “35, 3 kids, living with my boyfriend.” I was pretty clear, if we made this move we would have a wedding date set before our first lease together was up for renewal.
Some, including me, might call that an ultimatum and not a goal. For me, it was both. Miraculously, and something for which I continue to be grateful, this managed to not scare Nateanite away. In fact, he was completely agreeable to this arrangement. Before 2010 was over, we were legally bound as a married couple – required by law to live together (bizarrely, that is something Minnesota is very clear about in its marriage license application).
While this was a goal I had for myself, it clearly needed another person to step up. This was not a goal either one of us could do on our own. We made a decision and followed through, together.
What are some decisions you’ve made in your relationships and how have you successfully achieved those goals?