Free Your Mind

Giving birth is such an interesting experience. Although it one thing that unites thousands of women across the globe, it is deeply personal and nobody experiences it the same way.

Having now given birth to two beautiful little girls, it is clear to me that there is not really a “right” way to have a baby.


When E was born, I had intended to have a water birth. But then some high blood pressure & three days of active labor thwarted my intentions and I happily (and “tiredly”) requested an epidural.

Although I was “only” in labor with A for  a day and a half, an epidural was once again requested for pain management.

It was great! After roughly 6 hours of sleep, 5 minutes of pushing later we welcomed our sweet little girl into the outside world.

A is such a sweet little girl and she absolutely adores cuddle time with daddy. Since N went back to work she has definitely missed those cuddles.

Who wouldn’t miss cuddle time like this?

It’s here that I really have to take a second to talk about my own (really long) experience in the context of how we talk about birth. I know a lot of really incredible women who have gone through the child-birth experience without any medication.


I also know a lot of really incredible women who have used a wide variety of medications, elected (or not) to have a cesarean section, decided to give birth at home, or chosen to not bear children at all.

When it comes to birth, the act of making and being supported in your own decisions is what is empowering. 

When it comes to raising your children, making and being supported in your parenting decisions is what is empowering.

We do not empower parents in this country to make the best decision for themselves or their families. Studies have shown time and again that paid parental leave is a benefit to parents and to the economy, but our lawmakers don’t do anything to make that decision possible for thousands of parents. We can all acknowledge that affordable child care is out of reach for many, but our lawmakers to nothing to help it be more affordable. We all wish that our kids were free to play in the neighborhood, but there may be that one neighbor that will call CPS.

Gentle readers, we can do better! We can hold our elected officials accountable when they run on “family values” platforms and then do nothing to help families. We can talk to our neighbors and understand that your village should be on the same page as you so we can support one another in our decisions.



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3 thoughts on “Free Your Mind

  1. This is such an important conversation. With birth, there can be only plans, and then it goes how it meant to. I was desperate to have both of my kids with NO pain relief, as naturally as possible. Well, we plan and then…. I was induced with my son and ended up with an emergency C-section with all the pain relief under the sun. With my daughter, I went against medical advice, had a beautiful labour in a pool in my dining room with a great support of homebirth team…. only to have another emergency C-section in the end. It wasn’t meant to be, I guess. But I think the key is that sense of being empowered and feeling like you are making decisions in relation to your body and your child’s wellbeing. Thanks Rachel, great post.
    P.S. I posted this in the wrong place 🙂 Oops

    1. Thanks Gulara! I feel like there is so much pressure to have our babies without any help through pharmaceutical means. But those medications are there for a reason and it is okay to take advantage of them. Ultimately, the goal is healthy kids and we both have those 😊.

      Really, as far as I’m concerned, as long as the decisions we make aren’t hurting anyone then I think we should empower each other to just “go for it”.

      Thank you so much for your comment!

  2. Celebrating womanhood! Yes, we should all be the heroine of our life’s story. This post really had touched me to the core. And you have a very nice family too 😀 Your daughters are so cute, PRINCESS! is the word for them 🙂 And you have raised such an important issue on this platform. I applaud you for this. I wish that more and more people get to read this.

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