Maybe it’s the time of year – the happy fuzziness of the holidays is past (the fact that I can refer to the holidays as a happy memory means it must be past, right?).
Maybe it’s that I’m 26 weeks pregnant, measuring 28 weeks.
Maybe it’s that a massive work-related deadline just passed and I can finally admit it to myself and to you, dear reader.
I am tired. I feel burned out. I feel like I’m just bad at everything.
And I feel like a big, fat fraud for pretending that “having it all” is possible.
“Having it All Kinda Sucks” by Amy Westervelt was doing the rounds on my Facebook feed recently and after doing a lot of ranting about it (hey, my mom asked what I thought) there was one line that really stuck with me.
“Fuck you. I’m leaning in so far I’m falling flat on my face.”
The only thought I had after that was “At least if I’m unconscious I can take a nap.”
That was followed quickly by “I can’t be flat on my face. My pregnant belly will get in the way!”
I’m sure that two weeks from now I will feel a lot better. Or at least, more optimistic.
It is warming up, the sun is out, and the snow is melting.
It’s Girl Scout cookie season and I have almost definitely eaten my weight in cookies over the last couple weeks.
My little girl, with her sassy pants on even when she’s not wearing pants, will be two years old (!) and she will continue to learn new skills.
Indeed, there is a lot to be happy about even when you’re feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.